FREAK OF THE WEEK: Miss California USA Carrie Prejean

This week, the FredBlog shines its freaklight on Carrie Prejean, the Miss USA contestant who blames her beauty-contest loss on her support for “opposite marriage.”

I wish it weren’t so easy to pick on beauty contestants. Then again, they keep saying the darnedest things. Remember Miss Teen South Carolina Caitlin Upton talking about “the Iraq,” maps and “U.S. Americans”? More recently, there was Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, who couldn’t wait to tell everyone about what a great vacation spot the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay is.

That brings us to Carrie Prejean, first runner up in last weekend’s Miss USA pageant and the latest to put her stiletto-heeled foot in her mouth.

Here’s what Prejean said when celebrity judge Perez Hilton asked her about her views on marriage rights for same-sex couples: “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a women. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

First of all, what the fudge is “opposite marriage”? Isn’t the opposite of marriage divorce?

Secondly, she has seemingly declared California to be its own country, since that is where she lives that has declared – thanks to Prop 8 – that same-sex couples are not allowed to marry. Maybe she just forgot that four U.S. states continue to allow same-sex couples to legally wed.

As far as “in my family,” I’d hate to see what happens if it turns out she has a gay sibling or cousin.

Oh, and that’s how you were raised? Well, Ms. Prejean, were you also raised to sound as stupid as possible while trying to get by on nothing but your looks?

To make matters worse, Prejean then went on the “Today” show to say that her views are “not about being politically correct. For me, it’s about being biblically correct.”

Well, Ms. Prejean, let’s see you point to the passage in the bible that explicitly states that civil societies should treat gay and lesbian people like second-class citizens. Even better, point to anything at all in the bible that forbids lesbians from getting married.

Oh, and since it’s so important for you to be “biblically correct,” then I’m sure you never wear clothing of mixed fabrics, you approve of slavery, you support the death penalty for adulterers, and you “give to everyone who asks of you.”

And if you do give to all who ask, I politely ask that you stick to pageantry and leave the political punditry to others. That would be a gift worth giving.

FREAK OF THE WEEK: Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza

This week, the FredBlog shines its freaklight on Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, who seems to think that a place where people are tortured and held prisoner without being charged with a crime is a greeeeeaaaaat place to take a vacation.

Caitlin Upton, the 2007 Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina, made headlines for her rambling speech about “the Iraq,” maps, and “U.S. Americans.” (If you don’t remember, check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww to jog your memory.)

Well, good news, Ms. Upton. You are no longer the dumbest beauty queen ever. THAT title now goes to the reigning Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela.

I guess she never got the memo – or the thousands of news reports – that the U.S. military base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, has become an international embarrassment, a place where human rights were thrown out the window by the George W. Bush administration, where prisoners are allegedly routinely tortured, and where “enemy combatants” are held for years without being told why. In fact, things there got so bad that President Barack Obama has said he will shut down Guantanamo by the end of the year.

Enter Miss Universe for her version of spring break. According to published reports, Mendoza wrote on her blog last week that the prison there is a “relaxing, beautiful place” to visit. She called her trip an “incredible experience. … It was a loooot of fun!” (That’s five Os, if you’re counting.)

Here’s what else she had to say: “We visited the detainees’ camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how they recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting. I didn’t want to leave, it was a such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.”

Great. Guantanamo Bay as tourist attraction before it’s even closed down.

And she didn’t want to leave? It was relaxing and calm? I wonder if those who have been sleep deprived, beaten, locked up indefinitely and tricked into thinking they are drowning find it “relaxing” and “calm.”

“We also met the military dogs,” she wrote, “and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills.” After all, going to Guantanamo is just like watching the dolphins at Sea World, isn’t it?

Makes me wonder if she thinks water boarding is a good way to ride the waves and enjoy the surf. Maybe someone should give her some lessons, and then she could see just how fuuuuun Guantanamo Bay really is.